Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Praying with Gratitude- Expecting my rainbow

November 9, 2008
Lord we are so good at just asking and asking. I want to thank you. Thank you for this blessing, this life inside of me. I pray something I never thought I would ever have to pray for- please let me bring this one home to love here on earth. I miss my Faith so much. This is so bittersweet. I'm sure she hand picked this one for her mommy,daddy, brother, and sisters. I know that this is not going to be easy. But I know that this is what I need to help my grieving process. I'm hoping me being pregnant is you agreeing. I have all these things-emotions racing inside my head as if I didn't have enough already. The fear-will it happen again-will I have a miscarriage? I can't tell my kids yet, but I want to so bad. I don't want to give them false hope, but I want to give them good news. I want to be like I've always been-just excited. There is so much more to feel now other than that. Has my angel Faith sent this one with an angel kiss. I hope I get to kiss this sweet baby too. I never thought I would have to specify in my prayers that I want a living baby. I always prayed for happy and healthy. Well, I'm praying for it now. Please Lord let this one be happy healthy and LIVING. My sweet Faith I miss you so much and I wish that you could be here instead of being our brave little angel. I know that you have been watching over us. Take care of this baby, Aunt meme, and Evelyn. Oh, sweet daughter I want you here so bad. We want to watch you grow up and know you. This is so bittersweet. Thanks beautiful one. You are in my heart and soul forever. I will never regret you -the memory of you marks everything I do.LOVE YOU, Mommy

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