I can always count on Faith

May 22, 2009
AS you can tell from my resent journals, I've been down, scared, and sometimes a little insane. lol I know that those moments will always come. I also know that as much as I would do anything to have Faith back, I am so blessed to have carried someone in my womb that was to perfect for this world. Her wisdom is far beyond wisdom I will ever know. She walks by my side, and always finds a way to pick me up when I'm down. Yesterday I was really down and cramping. Scared as usual I called the doctor. He said go to labor and delivery to be monitored. During the day you go to a different floor a triage that is separate from L&D. I waited forever for a room! After being hooked up by one nurse, she said ? would be my nurse. I wasn't listening and glad i didn't because I would have started crying. The nurse that helped deliver Faith, dressed her, took beautiful pictures, made all kinds of keepsakes, and held our hand through every step came into the room. She said I saw your name and had to come take care of you. She sat with me and told me that everyone is cheering us on. She said she found out about my pregnancy from the beginning and as she teared up she said I pray for you everyday. I told her that having her be my nurse for Hope means everything to me. Then my dr came in and I told him that I think I have officially gotten to my mental breaking point. He comforted me and said I told you that it would be hard and that i would be there for you. After all this I realized that Faith my sweet angel is sending these people to let me know I'm not alone in this and that she wants me to be happy. She wants me to have peace with this pregnancy and enjoy this blessing. I like all of us find it hard to trust that everything will be fine. I'm starting to be able to picture having Hope in our lives. I pray for all of us that are expecting to find peace and enjoyment with our pregnancies. I pray for those who are ttc that it comes easily. I pray for those of you trying to decide when the right time is to ttc that you see the answer clearly. I love you Faith.Thank you for your precious love.