36 weeks 5 days/ 2nd amnio

We had our second amnio today. Now we wait. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that Hope is ready. Kevin and I have had a rough few days. The stress is starting to drain us physically. I guess that's what happens when you try to smother it for 9 months. Early monday morning(3 am) I woke up to pee as usual. Everytime I go to the bathroom during the night, I can't go back to sleep until Hope moves. Well, she didn't. Even after talking to her she wouldn't. I started pushing on my stomach, and she still didn't move. All i remember was thinking of how my belly felt when i lost Faith. To me it no longer felt firm, and i could feel Faith but she wouldn't move.That was how it was feeling to me.I'm sure i was still a little sleepy and the memory of Faith was taking over the situation. Kevin called L&D and told them we were coming in. He told them before you suggest for her to drink a soda and eat a cookie, don't bother. On the way I kept checking her heartbeat which was good, but she still wouldn't move. I thought what if that's not her heartbeat. Maybe it's mine racing from the fear. Kevin was covering his mouth so he wouldn't throw up. We were crying and begging God to keep her safe. I was telling Faith to tell Hope to move. When we arrived to L&D, they said that Kevin had to go register me before they could monitor. You have to be kidding me. Thankfully a nurse spoke up and said I'll hook her up while you're gone. After a few minutes on the monitor, she kicked. She became very active. We could breathe again. Of course the young (never had children) nurse had to ask questions. She said did you try to eat something sweet before you came in. I said well my baby died last year and I don't wait for cookies to work I follow my gut. I felt bad to take it out on her, but I'm tired of answering questions that are meant for "normal" pregnant women. Thankfully the night nurse we had from Faith came in and calmed us down. She talked about a woman that was in the day before saying that they need to get this thing out of her. She said after watching us lose Faith, it's hard for her to tolerate people like that.After three hours of monitoring we left.We have been so worried since, but all the monitoring is perfect. That's the hardest part of being pregnant after losing our babies- Everything once again looks perfect, but I can't allow myself to trust it. Today we had the second amnio. I hoping that we will have Hope arrive safely this week. Until she is here, I'll feel like I have a bomb inside of me ready to go off.