December 12, 2008

The last few days I've felt so inward- shut off from everyone. I feel like I don't have any words to express myself. I feel rather strange. I guess we have all been there. So many thoughts are swimming in my head. I can't stay focused. It must be the Christmas shopping and taking pictures of my kids that is really getting to me. I had Grace(4) hold a little stuffed lamb to represent Faith. It came in a plant sent at the funeral. Knowing that we are the only ones that know that this lamb is suppose to be in honor of Faith makes me sad. No one will ever see her - to see how beautiful she was. Never having a Christmas with her kills me. I gave Grace her fourth birthday party last weekend. That made me so sad because I will never give Faith a party. I guess all the sould'ves are getting me down.