Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Healthy baby, crazy mommy

April 20, 2009
After many visits to the drs last week, i think I can say that everything is ok.
I had an ultrasound and the cord as usual was lurking beside every beautiful part of Hope. this time it was drapped across her and behind her arm. The US tech reassured me that the way it looks that Hope could push it away before any tightening or getting around her neck. Somehow this doesn't comfort me. the cord haunts me. the most vital part to her well being is my worst enemy. I keep thinking will she swim through it and form a knot. I guess this is where blind faith and hope come into play. I still wish that I could have concrete reassurance- a definite promise. This journey is more than half way over which makes me happy because i want so much to hold Hope in my arms looking up at me full of life. At the same time I wish I could be carefree. I have to be thankful, but I will be forever grieving my baby girl Faith. I love and miss her so much and also love and patiently await Hope's arrival. These worlds combining bring so much joy and pain together.

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