Faith's 1st birthday is coming

August 16, 2009
On Sept 3rd Faith will be turning one. I hope to think of something special to celebrate. I wanted to do a butterfly release, but I found through researching that apparantly people like to do that for weddings, so now like everthing for weddings it is expensive. I know I will have a cake made for her at our favorite bakery. I will have her #1 shaped cake to put on her grave. The other day my girls were running around chasing each other. I was sitting in my bed and they ran past. For a brief moment I had a flash of seeing Faith sitting in front of me as a one year old watching them run past and she was laughing and watching with pride. I'm sure that these kind of moments will happen at every important stage I miss with her. I can never see her face during these moments. I want to see it change.



On Sept 6th last year Faith was buried. It's the day before my mom's birthday. Needless to say she didn't have much to celebrate last year. This year we have Hope. I've decided to have Hope baptized on Sept 6th. I have struggled over this. Did I want to take away from Faith's day by having Hope's celebration on the same day? Did I want Hope's celebration clouded by such a sad day? Well, I think I need to celebrate Faith by making it into a happy day, and thank her for sending Hope. Besides it will be a full circle moment in a way. It represents from death to life for me. Faith doesn't want me to stay focused on her death. I know she wants our family to celebrate Hope's life. I will celebrate them both.



Also, while doing some research I found that not only is there a National Pregnancy and Infant loss Remembrance Day(Oct 15th), but there is a National Stillbirth Remembrance Day on Sept 6th. http://www.answers.com/topic/stillbirth-remembrance-dayI didn't know last year that the day I buried Faith is Stillbirth Remembrance Day. I will be lighting a candle for Faith and for all our angels this year.



Next month will be hectic and emotional. I feel its heaviness approaching. I'm going to face it head on. I hope to not fall down. If I do, I know Faith that you will pick mommy up.I love everything you represent little one.